Stepping into 2021 with Grace
By Dr. Sharitta Gross
Now Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, “Because I bore him in pain.” And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.
-1Chronicles 4: 9-10 NKJV
Having prayed this very same prayer numerous times, I came to the realization that it is not one to be issued with comparison. Each of us is as unique as our thumbprint, and likewise, our blessings will take shape in their own way, in their own time. 2020 has been one for the books—testing and teaching us at every turn. Be it directly or indirectly, we have all experienced some wins and losses. So, as we step into 2021, I share with you a snapshot of what 2020 has taught me. It is my hope that these words will bring you encouragement and, if need be, a renewed perspective on how you might enlarge your territory.:
Delayed, but not denied. Okay, so listen. Your life’s journey may not look like the person next to you, nor should it. Do not be dismayed by what you do or do not see. Remember when I mentioned the importance of not issuing prayer with comparison? I’m not telling you anything I haven’t had to tell myself. I had to remind myself of this very thing when I watched my peers defend their doctoral dissertations before me. My natural course of action was to critically analyze myself, dismissing the fact that I’d gotten into the program based upon the very ability that I’d somehow concluded was failing me. Yet the moment that I was hooded and introduced to the world as ‘Dr. Sharitta F. Gross’ proved that it was a dream delayed, but not denied.
Issue yourself the same patience and understanding you so freely give to others.
Step out, step up. At the end of 2019 my prayers became very focused. Ironically, when the answer(s) became clear, I curved it with all my might! I was deathly afraid of the unknown, which caused me to become shortsighted. Pushing past all emotion and summoning the fearlessness of those who had gone before me, I stepped out on faith and relocated to the west coast in the summer of 2020. I knew that if I didn’t do something I’ve never done, I would continue to receive more or less of what I’d always gotten. Leaving comfortable spaces will not only reveal who you are at your core—it can unearth giftings—both new and those that have lain dormant. I assure you, growth is not without its pains, however, that pain is finite and the benefits you will reap from doing the work are infinite. If one plan doesn’t work out, please resist the urge to beat yourself up. Utilize these moments as an opportunity to redirect your energy, activate your creativity and leverage your resources!
Preparation with expectation. The prayer of Jabez is a simple, yet powerful one. Jabez issued a direct prayer that demonstrated his belief that God would bless him and since God is issuing the blessing, I believe he also realized God would be instrumental in helping him be a good steward of it (hence his asking that God’s hand would be with him). It was a prayer issued in the utmost faith, as Jabez did not say ‘if you bless me.’, rather he made his request known to God and left it there. He also did not try to dictate the timing of things or suggest what the blessing should look like. Imagine what could happen if you issued a prayer and then began to prepare like it was en route? You know—like when we’re getting a new couch and donate or dispose of the old one in anticipation? Likewise, it is imperative to create mental and physical space for that which we pray for/deeply desire to ensure that it is able to flourish when it arrives.
In moments that you feel stuck, call AAA: assess, assert and act. I may have dated myself here, but back in the day AAA had it all—from trip tics to tow services, so it was the thing to have if you had an older car like my first car, which was a red Honda that got hit twice while parked. LOL
As previously mentioned, growth is not without its pains, so in the moments that challenge you, consider taking a step back to assess the situation and try to identify the root cause of the emotion. Some guiding questions might be: Is the emotion you feel the result of a triggered prior experience? Are you operating in the spirit of fear and what do you need to make you feel safe or more confident? Have you exhausted every resource to address the situation? Has pride kept you from asking someone to share their knowledge with you, although you know this knowledge would be invaluable to you?
Once you have assessed the situation, assert yourself in the direction you’ve chosen. Tap into your observations and personal experiences, developing a realistic, sustainable, flexible plan of action for yourself. Don’t be afraid to do that which is unpopular in the process. Lastly, after you’ve planned to work, work your plan. Lean on and into your circle. And as always, believe in yourself as much as you believe in the God of your understanding. YOU’VE GOT THIS!!
Dr. Sharitta F. Gross is a proud Rochester native who was raised on the west side of the city and currently resides in Southern California.
She is a consultant, mentor and educator who continually works toward finding creative, sustainable ways to leave the field of education, her community and the world a little better than she found it. All this while living her absolute best life and traveling when she can to create new memories with family and loved ones!