Grief is the Final Act of Love

By Tiffany Nicole

We have heard this saying during Lauren London’s speech at Nipsey Hussle’s funeral, it seems very cliché and monotone in emotions. However, it encompasses the entirety of love and the stages that we as humans go through while experiencing love. I personally didn’t understand the magnitude of grief and loving someone else let alone the weight of this statement, until I was faced with saying goodbye. I lost the love of my life, my once in a lifetime love, my shelter and greatest man I have ever encountered in my 31 years of living. On October 15th at 7:35am, I lost my love Brandon Clark a day before his birthday in a tragic accident, with no chance to say goodbye or I love you one last time. He was snatched from me. Without warning God took a huge piece of my heart to this day I dare not ask why, every day since that day has been a constant reflection of the love I shared and experienced with him. For those that are single because you have lost your partner no matter the reason I truly understand your pain now more than ever, most times we assume people are single because of failed relationships or the person being bitter and refusing to let the pain go. Very rarely do we think about the singles that have lost their significant others in death.

Grieving has become a part of their journey…. Apart of my journey, a journey I did not want to take any time soon. It’s a solemn walk that forces you to find beauty in an ugly absence. Losing a partner has to be the hardest thing your heart has to heal from while you are forced with the option to move on you are still stuck on memories replaying in your mind, stuck on what could have been, what should have been and how much time you had left with that person. Grief has no manual, timeframe or even limit on how long or short one can grieve. The hardest process of grief is accepting that they are actually gone and not coming back, a part of you is forever gone. During my process of grief I have been able to turn my denial into gratitude. This was a much needed love I never knew my heart needed at the time in which it came. This was a love that was truly unconditional no matter my flaws and imperfections the love was still present and active. This love pushed me to be a great woman, challenged me in every aspect, and corrected me in times I was too stubborn to admit where I failed, but most importantly this love was a WHOLE love which I never experienced ever in life.

It is hard to imagine life without that person being a part of it, but it’s even harder to accept knowing what your life would have been like if you hadn’t experienced them in the capacity that you did. Knowing that your life was able to give an unconditional love and also receive that same love. The beauty in this whole grieving process is that the reality is some people never experience that type of love in their lifetime, when you really stop to think about it in that way you realize that you have been blessed and you look at it as a blessing. I count it a blessing to have loved and be loved in return. Singles, the beauty in love is allowing the process of falling in love to happen. It’s not a fast race to be in love, it is a slow ever moving ever evolving masterpiece and you are the artist. You create memories painted on the canvas of your heart, and your partner provides the paint. Love comes in many different emotions that we really don’t understand the depth of our love we feel every facet of love. Love is embedded in sadness, joy, pain, peace, happiness and sorrow at the center of all of those emotions is love. During the entirety of your relationship you will feel each and every one of those emotions which does not cancel out the love itself, it enhances the foundation of love! I am forever grateful for experiencing this grief not because I wanted to loose Brandon but this taught me how strong I am when I have every reason to give up.

Tiffany Nicole is a full time blogger and founder of The Diary of a Curvy Girl. She also owns a custom shoe business, Couture Creations and is the co-founder of the radio show, The Queen Code on 100.9 WXIR.